Since we last talked, I have:
-consumed almost half a jar of coconut & peanut spread
-day-tripped to Baltimore
-listened to endless warnings for the "great snowstorm of 2013"
-seen a whole lot of rain and very little snow
-rubbed my face with olive oil
-sold a piece of furniture to a semi-famous author in New York City
-finished Downton Abbey
-started Parade's End
-finished 3 loads of laundry
-made this classic fudge bundt cake
I have avoided:
-vacuuming the carpet
-going to the post office
-returning a few phone calls
-eating a sensible meal
-giving Mozart his weekly bath time spa treatment
-finishing the half-done project in the corner of my living room
I've done nothing that I had planned. I've also spent hours on Craigslist, plenty of time sleeping, and a healthy dose of time fake planning our future.
I'm a dreamer. I'm also a worrier. This inherently makes me a planner. I sometimes wonder how much time I waste planning for things that will never happen when I could be planning for the real future.
The thing is, how can you ever possibly know the difference?
I know what I want (or at least I think I do) and I'm determined to make it happen. No one is going to tap me on the shoulder and give me a beautiful house, a loving marriage and family, a healthy mind and body, and the financial freedom to work for myself.
I suppose all I can do is control my direction. As long as I am moving forward and becoming a little better, I will end up in a better place. I will be happier knowing that I tried and that I am the reason for my success, not fate or some mystical force.
Who knows, my fake future plan might possibly become my real life plan before I realize it.
In the meantime, it's the little things like a tunnel of fudge running through a bundt cake or finishing a mountain of laundry that will give me the courage to push through. At least that's what I've got going for me today.
Recipe for Classic Fudge Bundt Cake adapted from Annie's Eats
To prep the pan:
1 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp melted butter
For the cake:
1/2 cup boiling water
2 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped
2 cups flour
3/4 cups cocoa powder
2 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp salt
5 large eggs, room temperature
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup light brown sugar
2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
For the glaze:
3/4 cup heavy cream
8 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped
Preheat the oven to 350F. Melt butter and stir in cocoa powder. Thoroughly brush inside of 12 cup bundt pan with mixture.
In a small bowl, add boiling water to chopped chocolate. Let stand one minute. Whisk together with fork until smooth.
In medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, powdered sugar, and salt. Combine eggs and vanilla in separate bowl and beat lighting with a fork.
In mixer bowl, beat butter, brown sugar, and granulate sugar together until fluffy (about two minutes). Add egg mixture at low speed until just combined. Add chocolate mixture and then dry ingredients. Finish folding together with spatula. Do not overmix!
Add batter to prepared bundt pan and bake 45-50 minutes, or until edges begin to pull away from pan. Remove from oven and let cool in pan about one hour. Invert onto cake plate and allow to cool, about one more hour.
Make glaze. Bring heavy cream to almost-boil and then pour over chopped chocolate in medium bowl. Let sit one minute before whisking together with fork, working from the inside out. Let thicken about 30 minutes on counter before pouring onto cake.